crappppppppp

This is a blog, right. And we can write crap in this blog, right. Well here i am in the middle of office hour, producing unproductive writing material. Through out the time, i kinda feel lost in where i am. Worst thing is, i do feel really lonely. I don't see any direction and that makes me stumble into a lot of rock. Shit i am. Yes, i do feel free. but at the same time, i do feel empty. I need a story. One that fills my life, one that can do my job and satisfy everybody. Do you have a story? i don't

Temu

Hakikatnya ialah hikayatnya,
dalam apungan fikiran,
yang memerangkap tiap tindakan,
salah satu daripadanya ialah jalan yang benar,
namun bagaimana jika semuanya bertemu,
bilamana kata- kata itu penawarnya,
dan kata-kata itu racunnya
jejakku berterusan
meninggalkan hanya kesalan
apa yang ada pada ingatan
pabila semuanya cuma penipuan
atau sebenarnya penipuan itu kebenaran
Hikayatnya ialah hakikatnya

soMeTHiNg

Here's the story.

I got a phone call. They needed me back there.

I am too afraid to went back. But i push myself through. Everything is in a hush and rush. I do it because i can't forget my promise. but i'm still afraid... until now.

My car break down. I stop by at some remote place called 'Machap'. what do you know, i left my car and took a bus to get there. Biggest stupid gambling that shouldn't be done

Arrive there, eat a burger, do the show, meet old friends and make new one also. Something doesn't change. It's nice to have friends.

Wake up the next day with the same clothes and continue to wear it. wash my face and watch my handphone went down to the toilet bowl. Life works in mysterious idiotic way.

Took a bus back to where i left the car. thank god, everything in place. except i got to bring it to the workshop. Watch RM300 fly in front of me.

Back home. I'm still afraid. maybe that's what i always be.

that's the story

something don't change, is it?

I try to look it in a different way but it seem the same word still came to me. The difference is it come from different person. Can i change the world I live on? Can I change me? Consistency. Heck, I don't know if i am even for it. I'm like a wind wondering this world with a lost soul. They say i have everything, but do i have the urge to own it.

tanpa maksud

bila tiada lagi suara yang berbicara,
Apakah maksudnya,
Adakah aku masih manusia,
Di dalam relung yang tiada penghujung,
Aku mula lelah,
Tiada lagi angin menghembus,
Sekujur layu,
Meratap sisa,
Ku toleh ke belakang,
Yang ada cuma gelita,
Sepi tanpa caci
Sunyi tiada puji
Katanya, syurga itu berada di puncak hadapan,
Sayangnya, mataku tidak melihatnya,
Aku tidak tahu berapa jauh lagi laluan ini,
Tapi apa yang aku tahu,
di atas neraka aku sedang berpijak

-17 jan, jbh